Not very app-Ealing

Isn't Ealing Broadway station horrible? Specially late at night. No, actually, let me rephrase that. Aren't the drunk people at Ealing Broadway station horrible?

Last night, after a late shift, I arrived on the tube to get my train to Slough just as the one I was hoping to catch was pulling away, so had to wait half an hour for the next one. This gave me plenty of time to think about station improvements, most noticeably that the dark and grubby nature of the platform I was standing on seemed to give the drunk people the idea that it was okay to gob on the floor, or generally be unpleasant and intimidating. I would like to see a bit more lighting and a bit more seating, perhaps a few more benches further down the platform for those who don't want to sit amongst the beered-up people who always want to talk to you for some reason, no matter how close to your face you put your book.

There are times when I think I'd really like not to have to deal with people at all, especially drunk ones. The way they fill the train with litter and unmentionable stains must rile the poor cleaning staff who have to deal with it. It certainly riles me and I don't have to pick it up or wipe it up - eugh. Perhaps FGW should initiate a "night-status" carriage, which is entirely covered in the kind of plastic that sofas are wrapped in. Much easier to clean, and drunk people don't care where and what they sit on.

Me, I'll bring a cushion. And a larger book.

First Class? Hardly

My business (okay, it was a friend's birthday) took me to Paddington last night for a bite to eat and a few drinks.

It seemed ridiculous for me to take South West Trains to Waterloo instead of First Great Western to Paddington, so I bit the bullet and got onto the dreaded Slough train. The journey there was fine, apart from being crowded and dirty, but so far so normal, it came on time so that was the main thing. On the journey home, I took advantage of my free off-peak first class upgrade (see previous post for how you can receive yours) and got into the first class section of the 2214 Paddington to Reading train.

Now, I realise that these small stopping services don't have swish carriages, but honestly, there was very little to differentiate this section of the train from any other. It was covered in rubbish, the seats were torn, and various annoying loud people came and sat in it even though they didn't have first class tickets ("Come on, it's fine, they don't check at this time of night").

To be honest, there's no point in having a first class section on these small chuggy trains, because to call them 'first class' is a bit embarrassing. They're just a very slightly cleaner, very slightly quieter area where there's a door protecting you from the full horror of what's going on in the rest of the train. And, the worst thing of all - there's no free cake and tea!

I realise that there's usually no train manager working on these trains, but, as I've said before, there should be, because travelling in the evenings on FGW is a horrible horrible experience, and those people who pay for a real first class ticket must be horrified when they see what their extra millions have bought them.

Note to self - arrange to go out in Waterloo next time.

Seeing Red

I cannot tell you how eye-poppingly angry I was last night at First Great Western. Of course this is not true. I can, and am about to tell you in great detail, so please brace yourself.

Here goes: I was at the pub after work, as someone was leaving, so I stayed for a few drinks. I left the pub at half past nine, aiming to catch the 2221 from Paddington, getting into Slough at 2243, and with a comfortable seven minutes to wait until my Windsor train at 2250, getting me home around eleven, in plenty of time for a reasonably early night.

I got to Paddington in plenty of time to catch the train, but of course they left us standing on the platform in front of the few grubby carriages, no-one thinking to open the door and let us sit down like the tired human beings we all clearly were. They announce the platform and open the doors immediately the train arrives on South West Trains - why don't they do this on FGW? Still, I digress.

They finally opened the doors and I settled down with my book, unaware that 2221 had come and gone until an announcement revealed that the driver was late arriving at the station "but should be here in approximately three minutes". The driver being late is one of the worst excuses of all time, as it's entirely avoidable. Why the hell was the driver late?

The train finally pulled out at 2236, fifteen minutes late, meaning that I missed my connection at Slough, and had to ring home for a lift. If I'd waited for the next Windsor train, I'd have been home at about half past eleven.

So far, so normal, you might say, but this is why I was so angry.

I had chosen FGW over South West Trains on the basis that the journey was considerably quicker, at least on paper. But here's the thing. It would have been better for me to take the longer tube journey to Waterloo, catch the 2228 (leaving seven minutes later than the Paddington train) and stop THIRTEEN times at stations on the way to Windsor, and I still would have arrived home earlier than if I'd waited at Slough for the next Windsor train, having missed my connection.

Let me say this again: The fast train from Paddington to Slough, stopping ONCE, followed by a six minute trip to Windsor from Slough, took longer last night than a South West Train service stopping thirteen times, and leaving seven minutes later.

This is just simply not good enough, and I'm absolutely furious about it.

I'm delighted to say that South West Trains have now cancelled their planned strike action, so I have no reason to set foot back on FGW for the time being, which is probably a good thing, as I would be freely flinging I Hate First Great Western badges around with great abandon.

The only good news for those poor souls who have no choice in their train provider is that the free off-peak First Class upgrade is back. It can't make the trains go faster, but at least you can have a free cup of tea while you wait. For your voucher, go here.

Anyway, rant over, thanks for listening. Sorry to go on, but it could have been worse. I was so angry last night, only the lateness of the hour prevented me from logging on and updating my blog then and there. I think it's safe to say it's lucky I didn't, or your poor ears might have been insulted by my terrible language.

Friday night is fright night

Hello all

Proper news about the new December timetable and a request for your views on it coming soon, so watch this space.

But as the leaves begin to fall, and a chill begins to bother the back of my neck as I wait at the station, my thoughts turn inevitably to Halloween, and all things horrible.

A-ha, you think I'm going to say my thoughts turn to First Great Western, don't you? Well, no, in fact, I'm talking once again about the horror of passengers behaving badly.

My increasingly more frequent chats with FGW employees has uncovered the fact that, while we have good reason to be frustrated, we may sometimes not behave in a manner becoming upstanding commuter-types.

One employee reports that he has been spat at, and I myself have observed the pack-like instincts of the drunken commuter faced with a cancelled service late at night, something which resembles the behaviour and sound of hyenas. Our friend the Insider has also reported that staff are unwilling to say which platform a train is expected to arrive at because there are some travellers who do not care who they push and shove in order to be first on the train and first to a seat.

Now, we all know the reason for our frustrations - delays and cancellations. Nothing new there.

But, we should expect to be judged by the way we behave, and if, as I have heard, train managers sometimes decide not to come out of their rooms at all during some services, then that's a worry.

On a lighter note, I'd like to ask for some views on visual protests. The badges provided by this blog are clearly a marvellous opportunity to make our feelings known. But they're very small, and staff usually don't see them at all.

So, should I happen to be organising some kind of visual event (let's just say for the purposes of argument that I might be, but I might not) what should it be - flags, t-shirts, hats?

I'm thinking of something along the lines of the Flash Mob trend, which started a few years ago, and involves lots of people turning up to the same place at a time agreed at the last minute, all demonstrating, or acting in a certain way, then going away again. Not very well explained, but here's a website which might help: http://www.geocities.com/londonmobs/.

I'd like to something amusing, very visual and which will give the message that travelling by FGW is a real pain in the bum - perhaps we could all wear giant prosthetic bums?

As you can see, I do really need your help, so, since I know you all have plenty of time staring into space, or the next person's neck, on the way home, get your thinking caps on and come up with some ideas.

Blame the children

I noticed on this morning's commuter sardine can from Reading to Paddington that the winter coughs and sneezes have already begun.

At the time, I wondered why, considering most people (not me, I've been saving up for a gigantic stamp duty bill, no, please, don't feel too sorry for me) have had a nice summer holiday somewhere sunny. While I've been slaving away in a basement in Knightsbridge until the late hours, these same people have been sitting on the decking sipping wine and being generally relaxed during those few sunny evenings we've had this year.

Then I realised, the children have gone back to school, and it all became clear.

The little darlings have been and caught each others' bugs and are now distributing them liberally amongst their hard-working parents, who are now bringing them onto the train in the morning for us all to enjoy. I'm thinking of getting a Japanese-style face mask, though I would need earplugs too, as it's the sniffing that really gets to me. Perhaps I should make up some "I Hate First Great Western" tissues to hand out over the coming winter.

I have also realised that a couple of months of first-class upgrades have made me much more sensitive to noise on the train. Last night a drunken couple in the first class area were being so loud, I couldn't concentrate on my book. I didn't dare to challenge them, because one man who was unfortunate enough to sigh and glance over in their direction received a torrent of abuse that lasted all the way to Maidenhead. Which was annoying, as the man himself had got off at Slough.

And this morning, in the quiet carriage, a woman in the corridor spent the whole journey talking in a voice like a foghorn about the saga of dropping her child off at nursery school. I wouldn't mind if either of these incidents had involved conversations of interest, but both were so banal, I became filled with rage that they should be contaminating my brain with such rubbish, though of course I was much too polite to say anything (aren't we always?).

I have definitely become a low-tolerance commuter, which doesn't bode well for my return to the daytime hours this month, when my upgrade is no longer valid. I really think the earplugs might be the way forward, as they'll also block out the onboard announcements.

I know where the safety cards are. And I know where the quiet carriage is. I'm in it. Now SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Yes, definitely a low-tolerance commuter.

Don't worry, be amused by the train manager

Hello again all.

Things are getting serious here at blog central, what with various members of rail staff of different kinds across the network ordering "I Hate First Great Western" badges (no names, no being fired for being naughty) and you unhappy commuters giving me your grievances to ask the company's managers.

But, as I continue to feed my local postbox with protest badges, on a lighter note, I was most entertained by the train manager on last night's exceedingly slow train from Paddington to Reading. As each station was reached - Acton Main Line, Ealing Broadway, Hanwell, Southall, Hayes and Harlington... (god, it's endless), the manager announced the station with words such as "It gives me immeasurable pleasure to tell you that we will shortly be arriving at Maidenhead" and "I can hardly contain my excitement as I let you know that we will soon be at Twyford". Fair made me chuckle so it did, which is a difficult thing to achieve at that time of night on the stopper-from-hell I can tell you.

And my happiness was made complete this afternoon, when a lovely First Class Host brought me a cup of tea in a way that made me feel like some kind of VIP. What a wonderful way to travel, thought I, it took me right back to the old days of the Orient Express. No, not really, I've never been on it, but I think maybe I should, though it's probably the only train service that costs more to use than First Great Western.

Bizarrely, I was even quite happy about the tube strike, because it was a nice day, so I walked to work across Hyde Park and most pleasant it was.

So, there you go, a moment of happiness in this sea of complaining.

Normal service will be resumed next time.

The McDemo photo

So, here it is, Mark Thomas and one of his McDemo colleagues hating First Great Western on our behalf. They certainly don't look very happy, but that might be because they had a total of 181 demos to do that day, and I think this was the first.

Still no cheque from First Great Western, but this may be partly due to the postal system collapsing around our ears.

The Insider has posted a very interesting explanation of the madness and complications of the fare system, so if this is your particular beef, go and visit him here. I tried to read it all, but began to lose the will to live about half way down, I'm so glad I'm not the one trying to sell the tickets, the system's a mess!

I'm beginning to feel a bit like a message board, so let me tell you a story instead.

I'm on a late shift again. Last time I worked a late shift on a Friday, there was a drunken businessman being sick next to the departure boards. Let's call him Mike. He wasn't in a good way, and a kind young drunken man was trying to help him get home. Let's call him Jim. Then a much less kind drunk person decided that Jim was patronising Mike, and tried to have a fight with Jim. So far, so typical of Friday nights on Paddington Station.

But then, amazingly, everyone joined in to look after Mike. Once he was on the train, the whole carriage decided he was their pet project for the way home. Despite the fact that he kept disappearing under the luggage rack to be sick, everyone was very nice to him, and made sure he got onto the platform safely at Reading. I'm afraid to say I don't know what happened to him after that, as I didn't really fancy taking him home in my car, what with him being sick everywhere every five minutes and all. The most intriguing thing about Mike was that he was carrying two umbrellas. Jim was very concerned that either he'd stolen the second umbrella, or, more worryingly, that it belonged to another extremely drunk businessman who he'd lost somewhere along the way.

There are two things I took away from that journey. The first is that drunken people aren't always annoying and stupid, though they usually are. That trip was fun, everyone was in a good mood, and the atmosphere was great.

The second is that I thank FGW from the bottom of my heart for the off-peak first class upgrade that will allow me to escape the worst of the pantomime tonight, as it's not usually anywhere near as fun as that.

Great big gigantic signal failure

Well, last night's trip home was a bundle of fun I can tell you.
Due to what I eventually found out was a great big gigantic signal failure (that is the technical term), we were all turfed off our late night train at Slough, and treated to a double decker bus ride through Maidenhead and Twyford, before being deposited at Reading. Through a stroke of luck, my car happened to be at a friend's house in Reading, otherwise I shudder to think how I would have got home to Pangbourne, where another dreaded rail replacement bus is also in place from Tilehurst because of work on the line. I still didn't make it home until after 1am, but at least it didn't cost me anything.
So, this leads me to another question - why do signals fail so frequently, and why can't they be fixed or replaced so that they don't fail so often?
Signal failure is one of the most common reasons why trains are delayed, so I feel I should try and learn a bit more about it. I realise that the signals are not part of FGW's remit, but I don't care about that, I just want to know why the system doesn't work, and how to fix it.
This is all I know so far from a brief foray on the internet: signals can fail for a variety of reasons (what reasons?) and when they do, they always "fail safe", which means they go to red for safety reasons. That's about it. I can't find anything more helpful, apart from very technical descriptions of type of signal and signal procedures, which I can't bring myself to read.
So, rail fans, what's the answer? Whose fault is it and why isn't it being sorted?

What a lot of old Potter

Reading station may not have enough platforms, but it does have ten, which is why I was getting quite irate at having to wait outside it at midnight last night. When we eventually got into the station and I finally got off and began to wait for my connection to Pangbourne, I heard one of the station staff say that the reason the train couldn't use any of the other platforms was that work was being done on the line.

Does that also explain why we had to wait outside Paddington station at one o'clock this afternoon? Why am I always sitting on trains outside platforms, is it simply that work is always being done on the line, or is it a lack of staff, or simply bad management?

I have another theory. In the middle of the night, when the ghosts are abroad, I think the line is cleared for the Hogwarts Express, and assorted ghost trains, leaving us mere mortals on First Great Western crawling along in the dark, slowly losing our minds.

I'm afraid that the late shifts might be taking their toll on my sanity, but I would like to know the answer to this question. Why are the late trains always so badly delayed when there's so little traffic at that time of night?

The importance of sitting down

Great news to impart. I have successfully booked a seat on nine trains from Paddington over the next few weeks, starting next Tuesday.

I have the seat numbers in my possession, and will unceremoniously be chucking people out of any that are occupied, so I'm sorry if it's you, but it's a jungle out there in commuterland, and it's survival of the fittest.

So, this disproves something I saw written on the FGW website, which says that season ticket holders can't reserve seats. I think it's actually the goodwill of the FGW Customer Service staff I have to thank rather than any change of policy, but I'm not complaining, as long as there's a seat there for me to sit on. I'll report back next week on how it goes.

My only problem is that sometimes I don't get that train, but I'm going to try very hard, just to make sure I give the seat reservation system a good trial, all in the name of research of course.

In other news, still no sign of a cheque in the post, sadly, so I continue to await my refund. It'll be 28 days on Thursday since I received the second letter replying to my complaint, so a third letter will be despatched on that day to try and hurry it up a bit.

And I'm not even going to mention my 50 minute wait at Paddington Station on Friday night at 11:45pm, after a late shift, when the train failed to turn up because it was delayed in the depot. Whoops, I just did. I tried to mention my blog to some of the hundreds of people waiting with me, but sadly most of them were drunk, so I'm not sure my point got across very well. Still, if I only get one more visitor it'll be worth it. No, it won't, I need hundreds more. Spread the word!

Waiting for a replacement bus service

Ah, there's nothing like a trip to the theatre on a Saturday night. The performance was excellent, and all was going well, until my friend and I tried to get home. At Paddington station, chaos ruled. The 2330 fast train to Reading was being replaced by a much slower bus, due to engineering works. So, we and several million other people squeezed onto the 2320 slow service, stopping at all stations (and there are a lot of them) to Oxford.
Except one.
Pangbourne.
Pangbourne station is unfortunate enough not to have an extra platform, so when there are engineering works, the train doesn't stop there. Instead, a replacement bus is meant to pick passengers up at Tilehurst.
But, due to the lateness of the train, caused by the chaos at Paddington, we arrived at Tilehurst 20 minutes late. And so, when we got off the train at Tilehurst, there was no bus to be seen. No replacement bus service whatsoever. And, of course, no taxi rank at a station of that size. So, through no fault of our own, there we were, two females, at half past midnight, sober, tired, on the side of the road, with no way of getting home. Not really acceptable at all. So, cue one strongly worded letter of complaint, with a claim for compensation for the £12 it cost us to (eventually) get home by taxi. Let's see if they can manage this without ****ing it up completely, like they do with everything else. Hell hath no fury like a blogger scorned. Let's just say, for their well-being, I hope they're clever enough to deal with the complaint quickly, and that the word "sorry" makes it into the response somewhere.
Anyway, how was your weekend? I look forward to receiving some photos of you wearing your badges, and any comments you've received so far.

The Night Train

I apologise for my lack of posts in the last week or so. I've been working late shifts, and have therefore been travelling on a service unknown to most commuters - the night train. The horrors to be encountered on this service are very different to the daily squeeze on the way to and from work. For a start, the trains are few and far between. On Monday night, I was unfortunate enough to miss a connection, and spent the hour between 11pm and midnight pacing up and down the platforms at Reading, until a member of the station staff came to make sure I was neither drunk nor planning to throw myself onto the tracks. I was, in fact, investigating platform 1, as I'd never used it before and wondered where it was. But I suppose I should be glad that someone's actually watching the security cameras, in case I am ever in late-night peril.

The other problem with taking the late train is something I can't blame FGW for - the passengers. They are drunk, loud, messy and generally unpleasant in every way. At least for all the huffing and coughing, the commuter is generally a quiet breed, too tired or stressed to say much. After last week's experience of the 2259 from Paddington, I felt like I'd made several trips to the zoo. And, here's a word of advice to the drunk. I don't want to talk to you. And, large groups of young girls, please don't sing. It's really very annoying. Well, enough of the grumpiness. The good news is the poll has backed my favourite slogan, and the "I Hate First Great Western" badges will soon be ready to send to the printers. Please continue to vote, as I may bring in a second set at some stage, if the first ones are a success.

I continue to hate, not because of the staff - particular thanks go to the kind train attendant who let me on the 8.24 when I was late this morning - but because I've just been quoted the price of renewing my annual pass. Let's just say I could buy a small car and take a pretty smashing holiday if I didn't have to get to work and back on the train every day. Sigh. Anyway, we soldier on, as only the commuter can.